By: Sal Jones
If you've never dated online before than it's difficult to know where to start. Many of our members have told us that the most difficult thing to do is write a profile. It's hard to write the truth, rather than what you might think the reader wants to see. You need to be honest with yourself, about yourself, and with others. Don't short-change yourself. Don't compromise because you're lonely, or because your membership is about to run out and you still haven't met someone! I would also suggest that it's okay to analyse your past relationship(s). Think about what you liked and didn't like, and then don't change your mind! If you didn't like it when your last partner smoked in the house or swore constantly, don't accept it from someone else hoping that their other qualities will overcome these minor issues.
One of the most important things you can do while searching for online companionship is to ask questions. Gently, carefully and respectfully ask about their past, their likes and dislikes, what they want from a relationship, etc. Take your time. It's easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of romance. As well, ask to see photos of the person in their day-to-day activities. I'm not saying that looks are the most important thing, but the reality is that you want to make sure that all of the flames are lit, and that you won't be surprised when you meet them in person, except in a positive way!
I remember meeting a guy once - travelled 4 hours by train. When I saw him at the train station I was horrified! He may have been 6'1" as he stated, before he shrunk! When I looked down all I could see were these huge earlobes. Now I know that sounds superficial, but my eyes must have been saucers! Not very mature of me, but in reality it was his attitude that turned me off. The earlobes I could have accepted, over time! I'm sure that there was someone just for him.
Everyone looks different to everyone else. It doesn't mean that we're all beautiful to everyone. Chemistry is very important, so make sure that you have it before you meet, or at least a foundation to build on. It's also important that you both want the same things. You don't want to spend your life trying to convince someone that getting married or having kids, if that's what you want, would be right for them. You will just get bitter over time. If you're honest from the start, than you’re sure to have a more positive and fruitful online dating experience. Last but not least, when you’ve met someone and you start a relationship, cancel your membership. Having a backup plan isn’t fair to your new partner. After all, you met her/him online so you know what can happen, and so do they!
