By: Naim A. Samad
Dating manuals thick as telephone directories can be written on the subject of selecting the right dating partner. The key to the selection process is not to focus on our potential dating partner, but to focus on our ingrained human instincts. What are these human instincts? Imagination and desire are our enemies!
As we approach dating relationships from our own point of view, many individuals fall short in reaching their goals. There are countless reasons why most individuals finish in last place when commencing to build healthy dating relationships. Imagination and desire will cripple a dating relationship before the relationship starts, and before you know it, you are right back at the starting gate with a new dating partner or wish you were!
Beginning the dating process, we often focus on what we want in our dating partner and not his/her present composition. Captive is our rational self by our imagination and blinded by desire. The moment we are introduced to someone, or view some photos, profiles or personal ads online – we immediately enter an imaginary world, especially if he/she is physically attractive. It is our own little world constructed by our imagination; at this point, we lose all sense of reality. Reality is what exists now and imagination is what we want to exist, which is the total opposite. Our reliant on our intoxicated senses, intoxicated by imagination and desire leads us into total darkness. As a result, our objectivity fades away into the background.
This unreal portrayal depicts a fictional fairytale hero that originates from the desire to realize the storybook romance. On the surface, the storybook romance syndrome appears to be harmless. When individuals attempt to convert their imagination into a dating reality, total destruction visits the dating relationship, leaving the residue of psychological devastation behind. The storybook romance syndrome has defaced the truth about dating relationships, retarding them from ever having a chance of realizing success.
To achieve a blissful dating relationship with the hope of achieving a long lasting marriage, you must not select a dating partner based on your imagination. You must remain focused on reality; you must also focus on objectivity and not subjectivity. In the absence of an objective criteria to resort to in selecting your dating partner; your only alternative is to turn to a sincere, trusted family member or friend for help in the selection process. They will be more incline to exercise an objective approach. Remember this, when you are in the picture, you can’t see the picture! Investigate patiently your potential dating partner and never rely on your own senses, you may finish first in the race to a healthy dating relationship. Good Luck!
